I know, not the discussion you thought you were going to get coming to a designer’s portfolio site. But this is a serious issue that needs more attention. You can take a quick break from considering my design aesthetic. Or if you just want the meat, skip down to the bottom section.

I went to a barbecue last weekend and was once again triggered. I don’t know if my hosts were inconsiderate or just plain obtuse but I am so sick of having to deal with these types of atrocities. They put the cutlery at the beginning on the buffet line.

Here’s the thing. I don’t need my cutlery to go through the line. What I do need is a free hand, so that I can shovel insulin spiking amounts of mashed potatoes onto my plate. Yeah yeah, some might say that, as an adult, I should be able to hold them in the same hand as my plate, but you don’t understand. I have freakishly small hands. I don’t believe people with small hands should be put in a situation where they are more likely to drop something when it could easily be avoided.

In fact, now that I see what food is in the line, I think that’s all I’ll have. A full plate of mashed potatoes. Because yes, they are that delicious. It’s at this point that I realize, I have taken a plastic fork, spoon, and knife. But I don’t need all three, just a spoon will do. My host forced me to contribute to unnecessary waste and pollution by pushing me to take the cutlery before I was ready.

To ensure the cutlery was put to use, I stabbed my hostess. Sure, flimsy utensils  break pretty easily and don’t do much more harm than a scrape. But that will be the last time they fail to put the utensils at the end of the line where they belong. Under the circumstances, I think you can see my actions were justified. (Ok, maybe that last part was just hyperbole. I don’t have anger management problems, I promise.)

I’ve dealt with people like this my entire life. People with no attention to detail. People that don’t spend an hour pondering how to make a 30 second task more efficient. People that don’t mind when all the tiles on the floor are spaced perfectly except for just one.

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From my earliest memories until now, I have always obsessed over optimizing things in my life. To be as efficient and effective as possible. I apply equal amounts of creativity and rationality to devise solutions when others might not even recognize there is a problem. At least, until they see the difference my solution makes.

I question and analyze everything around me, all the time. If I could turn this trait off, I might still be married. But it is a part of me and a pretty awesome superpower when it comes to being a designer.  I am driven by curiosity and an unrelenting passion to optimize the world around me. The status quo is nothing more than a starting place to begin asking questions. Why is it like this? Is there a way to make this more efficient? More effective?

I have been focused on designing experiences for over for 15 years, and a general web designer for 20. But I have been viewing the world through the eyes of a curious skeptic my entire life.